This is my life

I am a clutz. A spaz, person who falls over air, runs into doors, you get the picture. And I just can't help it. Most of my friends ask me to stop, and no offense, but that is the most ridiculous piece of support I have ever heard. Do you think I choose this? Do you think I want to make an idiot of of myself by tripping over a chair in the dining hall or something as equally stupid? If you say yes, then you're the one with a problem. Let me take you on a journey of some memorable moments:


1. You know how really nice kitchens in movies have those cool swinging doors? Whenever I saw those in movies, I imagined myself just going back and forth through that picturesque door. In the few moments of my life in which I've been able to experience that, I've felt amazing and fancy. I felt like a pro.

There is a set of double doors to a building on campus, and both of them swing back and forth. Maybe I wrongly assumed the best in people when I thought that the person leaving and the guy in front of me entering were both holding the door open. How wrong I was. I tried walking right through the middle of the doorway and the swinging doors (emphasis on swinging) hit me in the back of the head and right in the face. On a brighter note, the people around seemed concerned. They asked me if I was okay. After they stopped laughing, of course.



2. Today, a biker biked into me. I didn't know that was possible. The sad part is that I didn't even realize what was going on. All of a sudden, I noticed that something was making me walk crooked and in a different direction than what my brain was telling me. I looked around and saw a guy next to me patting my shoulder repeating over and over again, "I'm so sorry. Man, I didn't mean to. I am so so sorry." I didn't know what he was talking about, and frankly, I didn't care. I just wanted this stranger to stop touching me so close to my face. I starting twisting my torso back and forth trying to throw his hand off and told him not to worry about it. Maybe the uncertainty in my voice and my weird movements encouraged him to keep on patting, to keep on apologizing. When I realized this wasn't working, I looked down to move my feet. That's when I realized that his bike was between my legs. It pretty much looked like I was straddling his front tire. I disentangled myself, busted out laughing, and quickly walked away.

I try to keep it classy.